Miscarriage

So there's been a lot of news recently about the TSA. People getting frisked, felt up, photographed naked and then whining about it. Hell, sounds like a good trip to Vegas, without the whining afterwards really, but by the same token, I can understand it to an extent.




The Transportation Safety Administration is the Big Brother of the airlines. They know who you are, what you've done, where you've been and will go out of their way to try and catch you doing something that you're not supposed to. To make matters worse, they have no sense of humor. Really that's my biggest problem is, you cannot tell jokes without winding up stripped naked in a tiny room with a pair of bullish guys that one to believe they're CIA or someone else that actually fucking matters. To be quite blunt, these folks are little more than the rent-a-cops of the federal world, they know it, we know it, but everyone goes along with them as if they're really all that important.

Here's my biggest problem. The minute you walk into an airport, you've given up your rights. Pretty much all of them, if you think about it. Let's go through the list. The right to free speech? Nope, there's quite a few things you cannot say, at least not without repercussions of an uncomfortable nature. Right to bear arms? Ha! Even think about it your ass will be in real prison faster than you can say "I'm not a terrorist!" How about the right to unreasonable search and seizure? If we had that protection, then none of the prior complaints about the TSA could possibly be valid. This would be much like a cop pulling your vehicle over for zero reason, pulling you out of your vehicle, stripping you down on the side of the road, then photographing you for unstated reasons. Would you let a cop do that without complaint? If you said yes, there's this country called China you might be interested in. There is nothing that says that an airport is sovereign territory of China, so one would rightly assume that the laws and rights of America extend into these small gulags, yes?

The way things operate at the moment however, you become subject to a thorough background screening, allowed to be quite invasively searched without so much as probable cause, and otherwise made to jump through various hoops much like a trained seal. Oh! We cannot forget one of the more important parts of this, you pay for the privilege to be treated like a serial killer, twice! Yep, your tax money goes to pay for these particular circus clowns, as well as the money collected by the airlines and associated taxes which in turn, go to these non-productive cretins.

Are all TSA members evil, slobbering and drooling villains? Of course not. They only take things as far as they're allowed to, but the problem is it took things being taken this far for anyone to speak up, and at this point it's almost too late to change things. Oh sure, there will be plenty of people out there who bitch whine and moan but ultimately bend over and let their asses get violated for the 'greater good' as will every other person who wishes to fly anywhere.

This is ultimately a microcosm example of our entire government, however. No one complains about the erosion of liberties until it has a noticeable impact on their daily lives, but by that point it becomes too late to actually do anything about it because you've lost the right to speak out against it. So what can be done?

There's a few ideas that have wandered through but some of my particular favorites are:

1) In response to the 'naked scanner' say that there is a surcharge of $9.99 per minute of viewing, as is industry standard.

2) When being frisked thoroughly, fake an orgasm as loudly as possible. Afterwards ask if the agent is allowed a tip for a good time, or even for their phone number. Much fun can abound if they actually give it.

3) In your checked baggage, among the regular sundries, pack the occasional sex toy or bottle of lube. The latter might get looked at but the correct response is to lean in close, mention that it's flavored, and wink meaningfully or wiggle your eyebrows at them ala Groucho Marx.

Of course there's always the less fun, less popular option of simply not flying. I hear there are plenty of roads around, rails (and everyone knows that the railroads are more than willing to take your money, they need it), and even boats. This option is usually much, much slower, but it also does one important thing. It starves the airlines of money, who will in turn lean on the federal government to relax the restrictions because, let's face it, the airlines have more money and pull with authority than you possibly could.

Yes, explosions are scary and can happen anywhere at any time. We live in a world that is only barely constrained chaos, however that is not a reason to give up the liberties that we've enjoyed for so long. Let's face facts here, explosions aren't even in the top ten reasons of why people die. A quick look at the CDC shows that people die mostly from heart disease (616,063 people), cancer (562,875 people), and stroke (135,592 people). In all honesty, anyone wanting to cause mass destruction would really have to step up their efforts to come close to catching up to Mother Nature, and last I checked, you cannot stuff a nuke down your pants quite yet. Really there is quite a lack of reason for us to give up anything. That we have done so so frequently and readily in fear of things that go kablooey is quite frankly a bad sign for where our head is at, collectively.

Can anything be done at this point? It's honestly hard for me to say one way or the other with a government that is only motivated by continual self-interest, and the fact that no government official is harassed by these measures means that it likely will not change. The chance is there, but I'm not holding my breath and in the meantime, driving sounds like a much more viable alternative, or telecommuting when necessary.