Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages...Wait. If there are kids here something has gone either very wrong or very right. In any case, here comes part two of my battle against cultural icons that are more damaging than injecting lead paint into your frontal lobe.
Why Star Trek SUCKS!
Imagine for a moment. You live in a world which there is nothing to be angry about. Your neighbors don't annoy you, your significant other never thinks of fucking your best friend, and everyone gets along all the time. Nice, right? No. More like very utterly completely sterile and boring. Guess what? This is the universe of Star Trek. Unless it's significant to the plot via some evil bumpy-headed alien control ray or whatever, no one gets pissed off at anyone else, no one gets jealous, no one shows much of any emotion really. Yeah, I've seen some bits with various characters getting married and "You may kiss the bride" may as well have been "Have a nice day" for all the emotion displayed, followed by the hollow sound of two sticks knocking together as the characters kiss.
Really, the world of Star Trek has as much emotion as the citizens of Equilibrium (a nicely done sci-fi/cyberpunk film, by the way) after having taken their daily medicine. The only thing that makes less sense than a universe filled with humans devoid of humanity, is just how many people get completely in to this world, to the point that most people would consider it insane.
Learning to speak Klingon, referring to yourself by your 'ship rank', wasting hours on end watching the same shit over and over and over. Fucking hell the only comparison that I have for these people are those who profess to be 'Jedi' and wander around in a brown bath robe.
Gene Roddenberry has accomplished what I used to think was an impossible thing. He has managed to cause me to decide that space is an utter waste. There's no reason to go if it's devoid of the very things that make us human. I can understand, in the midst of the Cold War, how wishing everyone would just get along could be a nice fantasy, but once again, look at the cost. In order for all peoples to get along and respect one another as per his wishes, you essentially have to lobotomize the entire population.
Given how the series went, lobotomy seems to be the source of many of my troubles. Problems are hardly ever really problems, just temporary inconveniences and usually based on some sort of technical glitch. Aliens all speak perfect English and can seemingly understand even the most obscure possible definitions for words and phrases and nary is there a misunderstanding because someone was incapable of speaking plainly.
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Ok I normally don't do this but I'm going to give you a little peek behind the scenes of the writing of this blog. Just thinking about how completely sterile and stale the Star Trek universe is actually put me to fucking sleep. Not even joking. This post was started on October 11th, and it's now the 12th.
I'm going to put this as basic as possible. You cannot have a universe devoid of those things which makes humans, human.
Now, what else is wrong with this panorama of pastel crap? How about the fact that these obsessive fans have pretty much destroyed any hope of the individual actors from ever getting any other roles without being typecast as what they appeared to be on the show. Stop and think about it for just a few minutes. You can probably name the actors by their characters on the series, but can you name them outside of that arena?
I'm a bit all over the place with this rant, admittedly, but that's because there is so much wrong with this series that it's difficult to pull together a point to start. Ah, I know.
Let's go back to the fans. As with anything there are degrees. Some people can just mildly like it, but then there are the people who live their lives in this fictional universe, all the time. Look, live your life how you want, sure, but if I were to say that I was going to live the rest of my life pretending I was in the movie "The Fifth Element", I'd likely be classified more insane than people already think I am. However, someone that wanders around with pointy ears, a uniform, and a bad haircut gets a pass?
I'll admit that Star Trek has done one thing. I can now babble incoherently with technical words crammed together and people will just nod and accept it. The writing is almost like someone grabbed a few technical manuals and random Wikipedia pages on theoretical physics and other such subjects, picked out a few words here and there that sounded neat, threw them in a blender, realized that they couldn't read the chopped up bits of paper, threw it away, then just made shit up off the top of their head. The latter part isn't as crazy as it sounds, by the way. We are talking about fiction after all.
But taking fiction and treating it as if it were real is crazy, right Scientologists? Another cheap shot, absolutely, but completely valid.
What's the point behind these last two posts? Liking fiction is wonderful, absolutely. By all means enjoy whatever made up stuff that makes you feel good. But carrying it too far is beyond damaging. It's simply retarded. There's too much happening in the real world that is just as intriguing and interesting as anything you might find watching the same tired reruns over and over again.
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