Another blogger has reminded me oh-so-much of those heady days of working in customer service for pennies, getting kicked around like a stray dog, while having some self-important manager play efficiency expert over my shoulder telling me just how I am wasting the company's money by staring at a blank screen when there were no calls coming in.
For shits and giggles, shameless plug for the impetus of this post
I have to say that I agree with her assertions that if those lowly, poor slobs who deal with customers and the general abuse heaped on them day in and day out up and quit, commerce would grind to a complete and utter halt. Consider that for a moment, my friends. No one to call when your cable, telephone or internet stop working. No one behind the counter at a fast food restaurant to make or get your food for you. No one at the big chain store to show you where items are, nor to check you out when you've found something, and likely no one to stop you from walking out of the place with whatever, if they even bother opening the doors.
Fact is, your typical wage slave employees are usually the ones most frequently subjected to abuse, be it from a pissed of customer or managerial ineptitude, shit rolls down hill and they're the ones that take the brunt of it.
I've been there. Face to face and over the phone I've pretty much gotten it all. Over the phone is especially bad, because the customer adamantly refuses to come within punching distance, making the amount of verbal shit talking increase exponentially. It's much like the internet, except that you cannot click off to a different site if you're bored angered or annoyed by the content of this particular site. Oh, and it's screaming in your ear.
Some Things to Remember Next Time You Want to Yell at a Customer Service Representative Over The Phone. See the big letters? This is important.
1) Yelling does not create a 'spur to action' response. Most often the rep you are talking to is already working diligently within the confines of physical law and corporate management to assist you. Yelling tends to have an inverse effect, to the extent that said rep may just pick up a book, and tell you they are working on the problem, hoping that your phone's battery dies, or you decide to give up. They are getting paid for wasting your time, you are not.
2) Asking for a manager does not always resolve the issue. If you are being an inane twit, be aware that the manager probably already knows this quite well as the rep has extolled your admirable lack of virtues upon them. In fact, the higher you go within the company, the less likely you are to get what you want. Play nice with your rep, and a few smart ones might know how to bend the rules just enough to get you what you'd like, within reason. Which brings us to
3) Do not ask the impossible of a rep. If your cellphone service sucks, do not expect them to drop the phone immediately, throw on a tool belt and run directly to your nearest cell tower to amplify your signal. They don't do that, and cannot do that. If your internet connection is slow, they cannot lay more fiber optic cable to your house and your house alone, to grant you faster access to your porn. If your satellite TV is on the fritz, they cannot send a command to the satellite to readjust it to a position that is more convenient to your location. If your newspaper is late or has not arrived, they cannot drive one to your house. Yes. I have personally been told that I should do all of the above to fix various problems with customers. It will not happen. Ever. Not even a manager, or the manager's manager, or the CEO of the fucking corporation will do it. And another thing that should be abundantly clear. It is likely the rep you are speaking with isn't even in the same State you are in. So no, none of these solutions are viable.
4) If you feel the need to become extraordinarily hostile, remember one little thing that could save you lots and lots of headaches. That 'asshole' on the phone, that 'refuses' to fix your problem? They know your name, address, telephone number and possibly other personal information about you. Become too threatening, and it is not outside the realm of possibility for them to call a local law enforcement office. Not kidding.
5) The rep you are talking to is a cog in a corporate machine. As a cog, they have certain directions they must turn. They do this all day long. There are other directions they cannot turn, at the risk of losing their job. You are not their best friend, you are not family, you are not giving them enough money to potentially give up their job. If it is late evening, you are likely not going to get your newspaper delivered, though a reimbursement is possible (depending on the company policies), you are not going to get a service technician to come out within the hour, and even if you call the CEO, no one is going to take care of your problem at the snap of a finger. Your importance is of no importance, especially if you are belligerent.
6) Threatening to sue a company is laughable. I mean this quite seriously. Think for a moment. Between you and the representative, which one do you think has had the various EULA, Contract, or other legal documents force fed to their brains? I make no bones about this when I tell you, for a fact, that threats to sue are usually a joke passed around the break rooms and smoking areas.
7) You are not the only customer. This bears repeating. You are NOT the only customer. Complaining to your representative how long you had to wait before your call was answered is a waste of time. If the rep has really had enough, you might just be lucky enough to be shuffled to the end of the line to have to wait even longer, or put through the shell game of endlessly getting passed from rep to rep, department to department, in order to ensure that your call is not handled in a timely manner. There is no way for your call to be pushed to the front of the line, ever. This bears repeating again; your 'importance' is of no importance. If you had to wait, there is a likely reason for this. Everything from a massive interruption of services for everyone, to a fire breaking out in the call center. If a rep is willing to sit on the phone, assuming it's even working, trying to help you while the fucking building burns down around them, I think said rep is either insane, or deserves a medal of honor. Sadly, they likely would be fired, no pun intended.
8) Your representatives are human. Until machines make them completely obsolete, they are human and prone to human fallacies. This. Happens. Human error is inevitable. If you have never once, in your entire life made a mistake, then, and only then are you allowed to fly off the handle when someone else does. Perfection is unattainable. People will mess up, they do have lousy days, they spend 40 hours a week listening to nothing but complaints and are still expected to smile. If something is wrong, that person's job is to help you. That person's job is not to bend over backwards so far that they could shove their head up their own ass just for your pleasure. If a previous person you spoke with made a mistake, it is not the current representative's fault, nor will they take the blame for it, nor will they do a damned thing to help you if you're essentially going to call them Satan incarnate and tell them that they sacrificed your kitten and had intercourse with it's corpse. This leads, of course, to point
9) The company and it's employees are not out to get you. Their job is not to make your life miserable. In fact, representatives are happy when things are going along just right. Why? Because then you aren't calling. If you aren't calling, then others aren't calling and you know what? That makes for a good day. Ask them some time, what is their favorite sort of day. Universally you will hear them say 'when no one is calling' or when there is 'low call volume'. You know why? Because they don't have people screaming, shouting and crying in their ear.
Yes. The customer is important...To the company. You are not important to the people who serve you. You are a number, a name, a voice. You are just one of a million ants that like to sting with every chance you get, and the deeper you sting, the harder those who 'serve' you, work to do just the opposite of that. If you cannot show common human decency then why should you expect common human service?
And with that, I leave you with the lighter side of things A catalog of why customers suck, and how
No comments:
Post a Comment